Blake and Aiden in the same outfit as babys

Aiden


Blake

Ethans rose bushes

They are in full bloom now and I love watching them grow to be reminded of him.

Ethans rose bushes



They are in full bloom and I love looking at them. Its nice to be able to watch them grow since I cant watch him.

My Birthday present

Guy decided I needed a toy since I dont have one. So he got me a jet ski brand new. I love it and cant wait to take a ride on it.

Our deck

We spent 6 weeks adding on a deck but Guy did a lot of the work but I did help many late nights. Its nice to sit out on it and just hang out.

Here it is

The fourth of July was uneventful this year and slightly relaxing. We just hung out as a family no where to really be and no rush this year. We just went and watched fireworks this year the four of us.

The boys got these light up toys while we were there and they played with them all night.

Making cakes

I do enjoy baking and dont do it enough and Iv loved making my sons birthday cakes and my sisters shower cake. Iv been asked a few times by some of my daycare kids parents to make ones for their kids parties so I gave it a shot. The first one was a skateboard which I didnt get a picture of and the second a tonka truck themed one. It came out a lot better than I expected so we will see what happens but I posted an add on craigslist to see what comes of it. I have someone already asking me to meet with them so they can give me a drawing of what they are looking for.

Here is the picture of the tonka truck themed one

Our big news

On June 30th we started getting faint positives and then on July 1st we got a positive off of a digital pregnancy test. There it was "pregnant" no questions to be asked and now the anxiety will set in.

I had my blood drawn three times anything over 5 is a good number and mine was 14 and then after that it has to double every two days so the next time it was 48, so it more than doubled. I had my blood redrawn again and I'm waiting on the results of that test.



As it stands now we will just take it day by day. I will be considered high risk this time though so that will include a few more tests and more ultrasounds. I will get steroid shots for the baby's lungs around 32-33 week. And then I will have an amniocentesis at 35 weeks to make sure the baby's lung are developed. If all is well I will be delivered then but no later than about 36 weeks. So our official due date is 3/13/09 but this baby should be here no later than the week of 2/16/09.

Some wonderful women

I met up with a few girls from silentgrief.com they both have had stillbirths as well. We had a nice dinner and chatted for 3 hours two of which was after we were done eating and I'm sure with all the looks the manager and staff was giving us they wanted us to leave so they could have their table back.

We had nice conversations about our angel's and I even shed a few tears but it was really nice. I just wanted to share my wonderful experience meeting other moms walking in the same shoes. Its nice to be able to meet the women you chat with daily about all the trials, emotions, fears etc.. that you go through when you lose a child. One of them even lives so close by we can meet up often.

Thank you Susan and Kathy so much for the great experience.